Blepharitis [blef-uh-rahy-tis]: An inflammation of the eyelids, specifically the margins. Early symptoms include: having to be at the eye hospital almost an hour earlier than you would normally be at work; sitting around for large periods of time doing nothing in particular.
Initial diagnosis: sitting in a dark room having bright lights shone into your eyes and sneak-attack eye-drops deployed. Followed by more of the same from a comedy bow-tie (Union flag) wearing consultant.
Treatment: One month of self-inflicted torture in the form of two different types of eye-drops and ointment resembling weak glue.
Side effects: Watering; stinging; headache; one of your oldest friends, an administrator at the hospital, belittling your condition and questioning the validity of your middle name.
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