Friday, 18 April 2008
I like to move it, move it.
Sunday, 13 April 2008
Bowled over
Our reputation preceded us, of course, as the staff sent us off to the furthest lane in the building; not wanting us to show the other patrons up with our professional prowess, naturally. To further handicap us, they made sure the lane malfunctioned from the outset: firstly, the kiddy-rails wouldn’t retract; still, the ever-attentive staff were on hand to fix the problem. Sadly, this created another in the process, as the lane didn’t reset and we were left hanging; Little Blubs having already taken her first shot. Again, this was dealt with in what seemed like the blink of an eye, once we’d used the handy Service Call button; 15 times, in fact, before resorting to going back to reception where a varying sequence of gesticulations and noises finally explained the problem to the blank-eyed bowl-monkeys.
All this had the desired effect on our game: we couldn’t have hit a day-glo elephant silhouetted by a brightly lit barn-door. Only Mr. Cheese seemed to have been unfazed by the whole affair and went on to win by a fairly sizeable margin.
A little fresh air was needed after this so we wandered around the marina complex for a while before heading home.
Saturday, 12 April 2008
Word of the day: Blepharitis
Blepharitis [blef-uh-rahy-tis]: An inflammation of the eyelids, specifically the margins. Early symptoms include: having to be at the eye hospital almost an hour earlier than you would normally be at work; sitting around for large periods of time doing nothing in particular.
Initial diagnosis: sitting in a dark room having bright lights shone into your eyes and sneak-attack eye-drops deployed. Followed by more of the same from a comedy bow-tie (Union flag) wearing consultant.
Treatment: One month of self-inflicted torture in the form of two different types of eye-drops and ointment resembling weak glue.
Side effects: Watering; stinging; headache; one of your oldest friends, an administrator at the hospital, belittling your condition and questioning the validity of your middle name.
Tuesday, 8 April 2008
Hollow plastic dominoes
Aside from the rapidly dwindling specialist dealers, this nostalgic vision has all but faded away; replaced of course by the clinically perfect Compact Disc. Browsing is now a machine-gun like cacophony of hollow plastic dominoes cracking against one another as people feverishly thumb through them at the sale racks, barely seeing the artist, let alone the artwork. It hardly seems worth bothering anyway, as closer examination only presents you with a track list which would be no more legible had it been written on a grain of rice and placed in a novelty pendant. There is no feeling of substance.
Now you might be thinking that I’m one of these stuck-in-the-dark-ages advocates of vinyl, not so: my LP collection has been stashed away in the loft for several years now; I don’t even own a turntable. My music is purely digital with much of it residing on the computer and the iPod. There's no need to scan up and down the miniscule spines of the cases, my head pitched awkwardly at 45˚, looking for Now That’s What Someone Might Have Called Music 20 Years Ago, Volume 45. No, I can flick through my entire collection, sort it by almost any means, search it and get it to pick me a random selection with the mere click of my mouse. There’s no need for the 5x5 insert, however comprehensive. Track lists, lyrics and even what the producer had for breakfast the day he put it all together can all be gleaned from the ‘net. Well, perhaps not all.
So, as I sat transferring the discs of my music collection from their jewel cases to a DJ case, becoming tidy, vaulted master copies, I found myself wondering if the age of the packaged insert has started its slow decent to oblivion. The artwork has simply become a quick way of knowing which of the five-thousand plus songs is currently pounding in my ears, should I not instantly recognise it; as is so often the case.
Monday, 31 March 2008
125% more interesting
Why have I posted a photo of scaffolding? Firstly because I can but mainly because it's approximately 125% more interesting than a Citrix installation; that's why.